Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
