I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
