dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
