i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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