like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
