So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
