I seem to have left my pride at pride
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
