its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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