Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
