found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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