I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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