if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Randomize
