ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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