Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
