my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
