You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
