Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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