Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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