dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want nice things and good sex
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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