hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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