In the future we'll all be gay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
