Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize