She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
