Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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