This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize