office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize