Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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