i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
