Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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