is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
