Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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