I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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