You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Can i not drive my cunt home
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
