Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
