I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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