non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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