i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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