thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
