There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize