you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
