Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
