I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
