I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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