so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
