I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
