Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
