just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
