We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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