woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
