I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
