Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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