I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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