i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
