I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
