I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
