I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize