We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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