we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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