addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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