guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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