It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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