you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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