haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize