So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
