remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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