The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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