You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
