Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
