i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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