We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize