Girls should come with a carfax report
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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