Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
