dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
