butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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