She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
